Drinkers with a Writing Problem

I understand about paying a premium for VIP access and service. Sometimes, there’s occasion to celebrate, impress or just plain “live a little” and a Miller High Life is just no substitute for living the real high life. But I simply draw the line when it comes to bottle service*, a trend that has spilled over from the clubs to a growing number of Chicago lounges. In some places, bottle service is mandatory in order to get a table and others take it a step further and put you on the clock. A bottle only buys you so much time, so multiple purchases are necessary to hold a table for the evening. The going rate in the city for a bottle of average vodka is $300 (Le Passage, BonV)—about the monthly lease payment for a Honda Accord—and what does that entitle you to? A seat behind the velvet rope, glasses, mixers… and if you ask nicely, ice.

To me the whole concept approaches the unnecessary extravagance of using a $20 bill to light your cigar.

Do you love bottle service? Do you hate it? Do you think bottle service is when you order a bucket of MGDs for the fellas?  CPB readers please share your stories and let us know what you think. Cheers.

*Bottle service was actually illegal under the state’s Happy Hour law until 2006, when a number of popular clubs and lounges were brought up on charges during a sting. Three months later, after some heavy lobbying from the liquor industry, ex-governor Blago signed an amendment to the law, which reclassified hard liquor bottle service under the same rules as for bottles/carafes of wine. Typical.

Mardi Gras Chicago

Forget Valentine’s Day, the concurrent festivals of Carnival and Mardi Gras are coming up soon (Feb. 12-16 this year), culminating on Fat Tuesday. If you haven’t booked your tickets to Rio or New Orleans yet, chances are you’re going to need somewhere local to celebrate. So whether you’re thinking Salsa or Zydeco, the following are a few ideas for places to go to enjoy, as Marge Simpson put it, ‘The singing. The dancing. The sexual ambiguity.’ that is this decadent time of the year.

Fancy a caipirinha, mojito or a Macarena?

Carnivale – Sleek lounge, excellent Latin American cuisine and a talent-filled club-like pre-gaming spot right up ‘til the 1AM last call.

Nacional 27 – After dinner service on weekends, the tables get pushed aside and the dance floor opens.

Sushi Samba Rio – Festive atmosphere and Fusion dining at its best. But be warned: the semi-private unisex bathrooms can lead to a bit of confusion.

Zed451 – Okay, so the rooftop deck is Zed’s best feature, but they do serve up some excellent cocktails at the bar. The blood-orange mojito, when in season, rocks.

Who ‘dat want gumbo, Planter’s Punch and an Abita Turbo Dog?

Heaven on Seven – 2 city and locations and a Naperville outpost, serving Cajun to Chicagoans for almost 30 years. Fat Tuesday events are being held at two-thirds of the locations.

Blue Bayou – A Southport corridor sister of the legendary Cullen’s.

Local Option – Never heard of it?  That’s because it’s one of the best kept secrets in town. Kick ass Cajun food too.

House of Blues – Ironically neither a house nor a blues club, HOB offers its Mississippi Delta charm at Midtown Manhattan prices.  Still, it’s worth a visit.

If you have other suggestions for places to celebrate, please reply to this post.  We at the CBP are always on the lookout for new places to try.  And there’s always next year.

Cheers.

Come back soon to CND? Indeed.

As I was walking down Grand Avenue in Streeterville recently, I came to an almost literal screaching halt when I spotted a sign for CND Gyros and, more importantly, “Lounge” in neon. A Greek tavern slinging gyros? A lunch date with fellow drinker with a writing problem, Randy Kohl, was quickly arranged.

After ordering from the pick-up counter, we bellied up for $3 Old Styles and were gently scolded for not ordering at the bar–hey, a big sign with a pointed finger said order here! (At the counter.) Regardless, my $8.95 gyros plate went down a treat as we watched CNBC and discussed our master plan for Chicago Bar Project. I will leave the rest for Randy’s upcoming review, but know this: if you’re hungry in Streeterville, you could do a lot worse than this crazy little joint…

Note: CND features “sauce” which reminds me of Hub’s Gyros from Saturday Night Live: “So, you like-ah da juice? You want a little more juice for your gyro? I give you more juice…”

Kuma's Burger, Mac & Cheese

After being spurned multiple times, my wife and I finally made it to the Pride of Avondale, Kuma’s Corner, for their enormously popular burgers, mac & cheese and metal (note the 1,000+ reviews on Yelp — the most popular restaurants & bars are lucky to receive 100 or more reviews…). We feared the dreaded line stretching out the door but, to our delight, we were seated immediately (it doesn’t hurt that my wife is pregnant). Other groups had to wait but they numbered three or more.

After perusing the well-worn beer list, it was an Indica Pale Ale for me and water for the pregnant lady. Knowing that it was going to be a huge amount of food, we divided and conquered with the Plague Bringer for me (burger with roasted garlic mayo, tortilla strips, Chicago co-op hot sauce, fresh garlic, pepper jack, and sliced jalapenos) and the build-your-own mac & cheese with andouille sausage, red peppers and sun-dried tomatoes for the wife. Was it the best burger in Chicago, as most people laud? It is up there for sure, with its thick hand-packed patty like you’d get from Paulina Meat Market, soft pretzel roll, intriguing ingredients, thought-provoking name, and kitschy metal music theme that had our unborn child grooving in the womb — though I still love the Moody Bleu and miss the gorgonzola burger at the dear-departed JT Collins. All Kuma burgers are named for heavy metal bands from the known (Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest) to the obscure (Goblin Cock, Bongzilla, Land of the Minotaur), except for “Our Famous Kuma Burger” served with bacon, cheddar and fried egg.

As for the mac & cheese? My wife claims the mac & cheese we once had at Chalkboard (on Lincoln in North Center) was better. I love the mac & cheese at Stanley’s though, for me, Kuma’s has it beat as it is not overly loaded with cheese and you can actually taste the macaroni, skillfully cooked al dente. Between these two entrees, there was hardly any room for the waffle fries that were also quite good.

As a bonus, there is plenty of individual seating at the long wooden bar, and the decor consisting of S&M-like artwork, framed photos of rock bands and classic tin ceiling painted burgundy adds to the allure — as did the Blackthorn Cider and Left Hand Milk Stout that accompanied such a fine meal down the hatch. As burgers are to Kuma’s, hot dogs are to Hot Doug’s — also located nearby on California & Wellington, so make sure you check that out for the finest encased meats in the Windy City. Between these two, ñ and a few other new places, the Chicago neighborhood of Avondale (just north of Logan Square) has really got it going on these days…

Menehune

For the second year in a row, I had tiki urges. Last year, we visited Hala Kahiki in River Grove as part of a Chicago Trolley pub crawl. This year, it was time to check out Trader Vic’s, following its closure in the Palmer House on Adams and resurrection in what used to be “The Grotto” – the Grotto’s jungle theme turned out to be an easy transition into full-blown tiki. After a recommendation from the bartender, I started with Raffles Bar Gin Sling made of gin, “liquors” and ginger beer. The menu describes it as outstanding and it was very good: fruity, not too sweet and not too strong. The glass was a little plain, but ultimately it was a good recommendation. My next cocktail was the Tiki Puka Puka, made with Bacardi 151 and strong enough to result in puke-ah, puke-ah but otherwise tasty thanks to its orange juice, grenadine and spices and served in a ceramic goblet with a flower. We were then seated at our dinner table and it was time for a Singapore Symphony, my favorite drink of the night: natural lime, passion fruit, pineapple, fine rums and gin for “the touch of passion to your life” (served in a similar cocktail conveyance as the Puka Puka. Being somewhat eye-catching on the menu, I next ordered a Menehune Juice: “A secret blend of island rums and nectars. One sip and you may see a Menehune [kind of like a Polynesian wood sprite or dwarf]. The one on your glass is yours to take home.” Menehune is a strange little fellow with black hair and a white mustache that matches his loin cloth. Things get a bit hazy after this, but I think the Trader Vic’s Navy Grog did me in… I’ve always been a sucker for dark/spiced rum.

As for the food, we were recommended the “Mount Vic Roll” that was delicious and made with broiled eel and crispy tiger prawn covered in avocado, topped with spicy baked bay scallop and blue crab finished with red tobiko. For the main course, I had the blackened Mahi Mahi (very good) and my wife stayed on the light side with an order of spare ribs (an appetizer) – they were rather tough but tasty, especially with the hot Chinese mustard served alongside sweet & sour in a ceramic dish in the shape of a butterfly. The complimentary Hawaiian bread rolls and flatbread were excellent and the wily Menehune was photographed taking up residence in a slice of birthday cake once his juice was drained, and migrated into a bowl of Sun Chips later at home…

A full Chicago Bar Project review is coming soon, but check out the Trader Vic’s Chicago website in the meantime.

Pumping Company Bar

I met a new Chicago Bar Project writer at Pumping Company last night. Her name is Angie Berthelsen, and her review of Spin Nightclub is her inaugural foray as a drinker with a writing problem.

As for the Pumping Company, I’ve been meaning to drop by for years and am glad that I finally had an excuse to do so. After forking over two bucks to park at a meter out front (damn you Morgan Stanley and City of Chicago!), I stepped into this former fire station to find what almost looks like stadium seating on either side that actually leads to tables in an elevated balcony, and an island bar in front with three taps springing forth from a bright red fire plug on the bar. The formerly vegetarian waitress, thanks to a literal meat market being located next door and a persuasive fiancee when it comes to eating ham sandwiches, recommended the Cajun burger that is a half-pound patty topped with spicy jack cheese, fried onion rings, popcorn shrimp (?!?) and, if that weren’t enough, a fried jalepeno popper. It was delicious but the onion rings had so much batter on them, I couldn’t finish it. In a weak and failed attempt to counterbalance the unhealthy quality of the meal, I chose corn niblets as my side, washed down of course with three health-conscious pints of Smithwicks ($4 on Monday). I then witnessed Brandon Marshall and Hines Ward (two of my fantasy football wideouts) spirit me to victory this week over a valiant but lessor competitor.

The Pumping Company also has one of the coolest Flash-based websites I have seen for a bar in Chicago, though it’s too bad none of the search engines or the iPhone can display it–click here to understand why.

Local Option Chicago

What Chicago bars have been deemed “Certified Purveyors of the Miller High Life”? We’re in the process of pulling together a comprehensive list, and here is who we’ve found so far:

• Bird’s Nest in Wrightwood Neighbors, Lincoln Park
• Local Option in Sheffield Neighbors, Lincoln Park
• Tonic Room in Sheffield Neighbors, Lincoln Park
• Will’s Northwoods Inn, West Lakeview

We know there’s more, so let us know which ones we are missing.

Update: I am happy to report that, after conferring with the fine people at Chicago Beverage Systems, we have assembled a comprehensive list of Certified Purveyors of the Miller High Life.

Ladner Brothers, Home of Cohasset Punch

On March 29, 1986, Chicago lost two local legends, though one has experienced a bit of a comeback thanks to the recently impeached “B-Rod.” The fateful day in question saw the destruction of an old, two-story building to make way for a new Loop high rise, replacing the home to both a Prohibition-era saloon known simply as “Ladner Brothers” — the exclusive purveyor of one of Chicago’s most unique, beloved and intriguing cocktails, Cohasset Punch.

Fortunately, since our memoriam of Ladner Brothres posted, we received this message from John Ladner, the great-grandson of one of the founders (Carl) and John Sr.’s grandson, “Your page has brought a lot of mail my way, mostly asking if it is still available somewhere.  Fans of bygone liquor are legion.  I now have the coveted family recipe (not much like Martha’s) that produces 24 gallons of the stuff in a single batch. If you know of any boutique liquor bottlers, I could get them some customers…”

I recommended Koval, who created a liqueur based on local Metropolitan Brewery’s Dynamo Cooper Lager, but have yet to hear anything back yet. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, and our canned peaches at the ready. If you’d like to get in touch with John Ladner III, you can reach him at johnladner3rd at gmail dot com.

I drove past Logan Bar & Grill and the place was buzzing with people in the beer garden and all the windows opened up. As odd as this warm weather was, being that an Indian Summer day rarely comes us late as November 8, perhaps even odder was that tonight was warmer than many summer nights this year — the coldest summer I’ve ever experienced over a lifetime of Chicago summers. The weather even inspired us to revisit our list of beer gardens, the most extensive and up-to-date found anywhere:

http://www.chibarproject.com/Features/BeerGardens.htm

Chicago Bar Project

Though Chicago Bar Project existed as a blog before such a thing officially existed, we though it was time to jump on the blogging bandwagon and to take up even more space on the internets with our hopped up rantings about boozing in Chicago bars and related gibberish. Enjoy.